'Cafe Lumiere'

Well, it was bound to happen. As soon as I start going on about how I haven’t had a bad film yet at the festival, the next one I see turns out to be a stinker. Ah well.

How bad is ‘Café Lumiere’? Allow me to describe a few scenes: mother places bowl of noodles in front of daughter and husband. They eat the entire bowl of noodles. Mother removes plates. End scene. Total screen time: 5 minutes. Let’s listen in on another scene where the daughter answers her cell phone and proceeds to have the following conversation: “Mushi mushi. Hai. Hai. Hai. (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) (grunt) Hai. (grunt) Hai. Arrigato”. Total screen time: 4 minutes.

Derek: if you thought ‘Millennium Mambo’ (his previous film, which I enjoyed and was the basis for this choice) was slow…this one makes ‘Millennium Mambo’ seem like ‘Run Lola Run’.

I respect naturalism in film and if not much is going to happen in the span of an hour and forty five minutes, well, okay, then at least give me some expressions or close-ups of the actors so I can infer some type of thought or emotion on their part. Or do something interesting visually or with the soundtrack or, this may be a wacky suggestion but, give the film at least one engaging quality, scene, or moment.

Sigh…okay. I’m 10 for 11, if you include ‘Les Revenants’ among the good, which, in hindsight (ie. relative to last night) was exceptional.

Also: um, I know we're all busy but I would like to hear about some of your films, be they good, bad, or mediocre. Skinny Ebert's take on the Toback film still makes me giggle so please, share.